Pregnancy

Don't worry, I'm not making an announcement! Just to be clear, I'M NOT PREGNANT! I couldn't imagine having another baby only 15 months after this guy. (no slam on you Suze, I'm just even more amazed by you now knowing what it takes to take care of a newborn baby!)

Since I didn't write anything while I was pregnant, I thought I'd write about my feelings on pregnancy in general now. I had a great pregnancy. Most of the things pregnant women complain about I didn't have at all... no morning sickness, no swollen feet or hands, no weight gain really anywhere but my baby bump. In fact, in some ways, I noticed my body being even more resilient than before. I loved feeling Logan move in my belly, that was definitely the best part, but there was another aspect of pregnancy that I really miss that I think other women might find weird. But either way, I'm going to get it out there and just say it. I loved being able to stick my stomach out and feel good about it.

Being a girl that has constantly battled weight, I was nervous about pregnancy and the feelings it would bring up in me. I'm not going to lie to you, it was hard to see the number on the scale go up when I've been staring at those numbers for a long time. I know the right answer to that feeling, I'm supposed to gain weight and if it was an unhealthy amount, my doctor would have said something about it. Still, the psychological effect of the number itself was not fun. Accepting myself in the way I looked was great though. I loved being able to stop sucking my stomach in, and just give in to the beauty that was my body during that time. I think it might have been the most comfortable I've ever been in my skin. I also loved that everywhere I went, I had "small talk" conversations built right in. Grocery store workers, parents at preschool, fellow church members all ask the same questions (When are you due? Boy or girl? Do you have a name picked out?) and although some may get annoyed by answering the same questions over and over again, I enjoyed it a lot because first of all, it reminded me of the awesome person I was growing in my belly, and second, I HATE making small talk and trying to avoid awkward silences with strangers and during that time I finally had a conversation built in. I liked that those strangers already knew what stage of life I was in too. Now when I go into the store by myself, no one knows that I have a beautiful baby boy waiting for me at home unless I find a way to awkwardly bring him up (which I sometimes do, since I just plain love talking about my little man!) When I got home from the hospital, I had to pack away all of my maternity clothes, because otherwise, I would've continued wearing them forever. I was most comfortable in those too, but I'm sure that I would not appreciate being asked those pregnancy questions now that I'm not pregnant. :)

I'd like to make a goal and actually type it out on here so I remember that I made it and told people. I'd like to love my body now and appreciate it the way I did when I was pregnant. On one hand, it's not perfect and it's never going to be, and I'd like to be able to accept that and still love it. On the other hand, that doesn't mean I can't try to improve myself and strengthen my body more and take care of it better in every way possible-- not just when it comes to weight. It's March, so I'm a little late on New Years resolutions, but that's mine, and who says you have one day a year to set a goal? Mine starts today.